Aku hanya Lelah

October 2, 2015 § Leave a comment

Bukan keinginanku
Bayangan itu menari-nari
Seolah mengingatkan diri
Diamlah, atau semua hancur

Sesal, mengapa harus ada
Ataukah ini hanya ketakutan saja
Takut bila hanya kecewa nantinya

Penuh penat rasa jiwa
Kosong menikmati kesendirian
Memilih diam dalam keramaian

Cukup sampai disini saja
Apapun nantinya
Nikmati sisa sisa di depan mata
Merajuk diri dan berkata
Aku hanya lelah

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You (Don’t Remain Silent)

October 1, 2015 § Leave a comment

I don’t know why, but the last few months I keep thinking of you. I try to forget everything, but it don’t give me less assure at all. I try to accept and let everything, but the fact that I can’t erase you really burden me.

I keep looking the answer, whether I’m in love or just a mere obsession toward you. I’ve never been like this before. Feeling crazy and doesn’t want to give you up, at least as a friend. Cannot we just be a friend?

I am not asking you something difficult, because I know the boundary between us and I don’t want to cross the line, no more. Just friend, cannot I?

If you we cannot be friend no more just say something to me. Say loudly and clearly if you cannot. Don’t remain silent.

I’m always thinking, do you hate me? Do you love me, but hide it? Do you afraid of me? Or afraid of my feeling? Or afraid of your own feeling? Afraid if you cant hold yourself?

Let’s be honest to each other and find the way we should be. If in the end we just end up to be apart, I will accept that. Just don’t remain silent, that’s hurting.

My draft 1

September 29, 2015 § Leave a comment

When the bird sing me a song
When the sun bright me and warm
The sky also smile me and cover
Then the morning say….
Don’t ever give up,
I’ll always support you and wait
Walk with you through your day
Stand by you, so strong stay
‘Cause everything is gonna be OK

Morning everybody… Let’s rock today 🙌😄🔋📔📲📏✂📇💿💽💺🎬🎲📷📉🎼💐💍💌 – with Silmie, Ayhu , and Berta

View on Path

A Beautiful and Sexy Poem

December 21, 2014 § Leave a comment

I love poems. But not all poems can enchant me. I found this poem when I watched a movie “I Can’t Think Straight”. For me this poem is very deep, beautiful and sexy. I can’t tell why, but when poem being recited I feel something mystical inside and its move me. I don’t know about you, what do you think about this poem? I am wondering about the poem’s title. May be you can tell me after you read the poem. What should the title apply to this poem? A suitable title that can describe the whole meaning of the poem. Wondering it. I hope you will also love this poem, just like me. Happy reading ^^,

Every night I empty my heart,
But by morning its full again
Slowly droplets of you seep in
through the night’s soft caress

At dawn I overflow with thought of us,
an aching pleasure that gives me no respite

Love cannot be contained,
the neat packaging of desire splits asunder
spilling crimson through my days, long languishing

Days that are now bruised tender with yearning,
spent searching for a fingerprint
a scent, a breath you left behind

Elegy of dissension between Work, Work, Work and Think, Think, Think

December 8, 2014 § Leave a comment

Elegi Pertengkaran antara  Kerja, Kerja, Kerja dan Pikir, Pikir, Pikir

(This elegy is a reflection on my dilemma within being a good writer or being a good copier).

Elegy of dissension between Work, Work, Work and Think, Think, Think

Working on thesis means I have to write

Thinking on thesis means I have to read and synthesize

Yes, I’ve been absent from seeing my professor

This is not because I have problems with him

But I just want to prepare myself by reading those or these books, so I would not disappoint him at all cost because he was the one who inspired me and he was the one who believe in me if I have chances to do better.

For me, working on my thesis without understanding any theories related just like walking along without destination. While time is running after me, in other hand thinking without working is also useless things.

Looking at my friends, all of them keep calm and steady. They don’t worry at all. They are just keeping write and write (working and working). While I am keeping read and synthesize (think and think).

One, I don’t have in my friend that is courage to copy and copy without reading and understanding. They don’t even care about the “Quality of their writing”. We are not bachelor anymore, we are a master. They don’t care about what they write as long as they can cite as many as they can, and then doing little editing. Done! Oh… what a wonderful life is it if I can do the same? No need to think a lot.

I’m just ashamed to do the same things. Beside I don’t have confidence if I write something I don’t understand or just full fill the duty that is finishing my writing.

I always remember my objectives, why I come here, why I want to do my master. I come here because I want to finish what I could not finish in my bachelor those are doing research, advancing my competences, and learning how to write a lot of papers.

Is it really I could not do that here?

Should I go back to where my friends stay?

Perhaps I will go back, trying to work, work and work with less think, think, and think (think to edit). And change my objective from learning to write a good paper to how to finish my writing as soon as possible without worrying the “Quality of my writing”

I am apologizing to what I write here. I need your assist but I have no face to ask.

Yogya, 8th Dec 2014 22:03 PM

Fly away

December 8, 2014 § 3 Comments

Fly away
All I want is to flay away
To know what I need is only by fly away

Everything must be controled
I know I’m not a kid anymore
But I feel lost

Flay away
All I want is to flay away
To know what I need is only by fly away

You can’t be these
You can’t be those
Those are bad
These are good
I even can’t choose what is best for me

Fly away
All I want is to fly away
To know what I need is only by fly away

Walking here and there
Just an empty shell without its own
Like a dead body without its soul
Please release me from this suffering

Fly away
All I want is to fly away
To know what I want is only by fly away

Let me drown
Let me fall
Let me hurt
Let me fail
I even can’t choose what a mistake I can make

Fly away
All I need is to fly away
To know what I need is only by fly away

Yogya, 08 Dec’14 7:45 PM

Whispering

December 4, 2014 § Leave a comment

Something whispering in my heart
Open up open up open up
This was not true
Just open up open up, it’s OK
Through it I saw them
Daaanngg…
I couldn’t believe it
It was not true right

Just stop
Just open and see all
Daannggg…
I kept going to see them
How do you feel?

That was something false
I’mnot ….
But how do you feel?

Forget it
You are not insane
This is the real you
Nooo…
This is not…

Then… what are you going to do?
Just let me go
Let see then

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